What is the ‘No Blame’ Approach?
The “No Blame” approach is a whole-group process intended to address bullying by drawing together the victim and the bully in an effort to explore the inter-relationship between them and its impact i.e., not ‘bullying the bully’ but working with bullies and the whole group to create understanding of the hurt being caused, and to make the problem a ‘shared concern’ of the group.
Step 1 - Discuss with the victim
If you find that there has been an incident of bullying, first talk to the victim. At this stage find out who was involved and what the victim is now feeling.
Try asking the following questions:
- Was it verbal or physical intimidation?;
- How hurt is the victim?
- Was it within his/her own peer group?
- Actively listen
Step 2 - Meet with all involved
Arrange to meet with all those involved; this should include some bystanders, those who may have colluded, those who joined in and those who initiated the bullying
- Have a maximum of six to eight in the group - keep the number controllable
- Make a point of calling a ‘special’ meeting
- Ensure the severity of the topic is understood by all
- Speak only of the hurt caused in general terms with no reference to the victim
- Play on the conscience of all - ask questions like: How would you feel? Would you like this done to you?
Step 3 - Explain the problem
The distress being suffered as a result of the bullying incident is explained. At this stage the details of the incident or the allocation of the blame is not discussed. Explain the feelings of loneliness, feeling left out, rejected, laughed at. Try asking questions:
- “How would you feel if this happened to you”
- “Someone here in this group was bullied by someone within the group, what can we do to see it does not happen again?”
- Listen, watch out for reactions, and pick up on any without isolating anyone.
Step 4 - Share the responsibility
Explain what steps / controls may have to be introduced to prevent further incidents and how everyone will lose out as a result
Step 5 - Ask the group for their ideas
At this stage the group is encouraged to suggest ways that would make the victim feel happier. All positive responses are noted.
Use phrases “if it were you” to encourage a response. Listen to all suggestions and note them
Step 6 - Leave it to the group
Now the problem has been identified and solutions suggested, the problem is now handed over to the group to solve. Arrange to meet again in a week’s time. Pass responsibility over to the group and give a timeframe within which to find a resolution to the issue
Step 7 - Meet again
Each member of the group, including the bully, discuss how things are going, who is doing what and have there been other incidents. This allows for continual monitoring and also keeps all involved in the process.
Again enforce the idea of the ‘team’ looking after each other at regular intervals to ensure it is known that bullying and intimidating behaviour will not be tolerated.
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